After Christmas, it’s Valentine’s day. Then Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, there’s also Birthday’s & Anniversaries. That’s a lot of gift giving. Gift guides are thoughtful gift ideas for what to buy your significant other. Some are decent, but most of them suck. After researching some gift suggestions, I’ve come up with the Ultimate List of what NOT to buy me. Not for Valentine’s day. Not for my birthday. Never.
This is the perfect gift for a female you don’t care about. Give this to your co-worker. Do not give it to me. If I tried lighting a scented candle in my house, I guarantee you the house will burn down within twenty minutes. Little boys and lit candles don’t go together. As soon as they see flames they feel the need to run and touch it. (Also, why the fireplace gets no love). Of course, I could place the candle somewhere high up on a counter where they can’t reach. But soon enough there will be a plastic ball, a foam ball, a toddler sized Darth Vader stuffed toy or a light-saber. There will be something and it will be airborne and knock that candle over. And we will be homeless.
Box of Herbal Teas
Who thought of this? Who would ever want herbal tea for a present? That’s groceries. Placing tea bags in a wooden box does not make it a gift. Ain’t nobody got time to sit back with a cup of herbal tea. Give me coffee or GTFO.
A Cashmere Scarf
Sounds like a luxurious little gift but I would not be able to keep the cashmere separated from the lollipops and baby boogers that are the constants in my life right now. Let’s revisit this in twenty years.
Giving a gift card is like saying “Hey I don’t know you that well but I’m too lazy to learn more, so here’s a gift card to a random store. I don’t really care if you end up getting your gift or not”. If anything, just hand me some cash and drop me off in front of the store. Or, forget the cash and hand me all the gift cards I’ve collected over the years and drop me off at the mall for a few days.
I don’t mind flowers. They’re pretty and smell nice. But only if you present them to me trimmed and in a vase full of water with the sachet of flower food already dissolved in. And then you throw them out a week later and clean out that gunky vase. Only then.
Now here is what I do want.
Chocolate. And Silence.
Place a box of chocolates in front of me. It can be a chocolate bar you got from the check out lane – I don’t discriminate. Then back away slowly. Grab the kids and leave me alone for a long time.
Best. Gift. Ever.
Colleen Casiz says
Love. This. So. Much. I’m hardly ever into gifts (unless it’s bakeware or cake stands) and don’t view holidays for the gifts given. I’d much rather have coffee (always) & relaxed, quality time with my immediate family. So thank you for being brutally and refreshingly honest about “nonsense” gifts.
Colleen you and I could be besties in real life!
Morgan, I don’t know if you really read the post but thanks for stopping by!
Monroe Bishop says
Love it!! Such great ideas, I am a gift card queen!’
Monroe, does that mean you like giving gift cards or receiving them? Or both?
Vet Leow says
Chocolate and silence sounds good! I love some peace and quiet to enjoy a moment alone sometimes too… haha
Yea, silence is also necessary because if people are around you might have to share your chocolate ha!
I think I am the opposite of you. I prefer gift cards and hate receiving chocolate or any treats as gifts. I usually just give them to my kids or our church group or send to work with my husband so he can give them to his patients. He loves chocolate and he still doesn’t really end up eating them either. Lol. I ASK for gift cards. Best present I received for Christmas- asked for a gift card to get new glasses from my favorite designer. Hands down would prefer. Best alternate gift- amazon gift card. Its the gift of anything. Fun to see our different points of view! That UK/Big Ben gift bag int he first image is lovely!
Hey Melissa, I never thought about it that way. I normally dislike gift cards because I get them for stores I don’t normally shop at and then I forget to use them. Amazon gift cards sound like a great idea.
Haha, yes just hand over the chocolate! 😉
Chocolate is the way to anyone’s heart!