National Siblings Day

Dear Nas,

Today was weird. It was hard which is why it was weird because it’s not my first National Siblings Day without you.

Of course, I thought of you all day. I remembered all the days we would be excited to spend the day together doing absolutely nothing. How a random trip to go grab some coffee would turn into a 4-hour shopping spree with a cupcake break somewhere in the middle. Then we would follow up with 4 completely different simultaneous conversations over Twitter, Instagram, Facebook messenger, and text. I know Abbu and Ammu raised you but only I knew *exactly* what to get you for a present.  My favorite part was your high pitched scream after you opened it.

Abbu: It’s just makeup

You: Um, no. It’s the Urban Decay Naked palette and it’s completely sold out everywhere!

Abbu: Blank stare.

Speaking of Abbu and Ammu, I dreamed recently that I was so overwhelmingly frustrated with them. You know there is no reasoning with them sometimes. In the dream, I called you and you backed me up. Like we always did for one another. You also had me cracking up laughing in the dream like you always did. Now it’s just me against two, even more unreasonable, aging parents. I know I promised you that I would take care of them but I admit it hasn’t been easy. You were the glue that held us all together. Watching our parents age is not something I’m prepared for.  I always thought I would have you by my side and we would deal with that together. Watching our parents grieve is … heartbreaking. I got this though. We have each other and you have nothing to worry about.

I have a lot more. I want to tell you about how much your nephews miss you and talk about you. I want to tell you about how Sake thinks she owns the house and how Ninja is a grumpy old grandma now. I will save those for another time. For now, I will remember our fun times – like sneaking in cheesecake into the movie theater and learning the hard way that it is really hard to eat cheesecake in the dark. I’m going to rewatch the entire series of GIRLS. And Sex & the City. And Mad Men and every show we watched together.

No more shopping sprees. This is how I celebrate us now.

Apa