SAHM Archives - Coffee and Sweats

by: Nusrat

Dallas Blogger Brunch x SitterNeeded

This past weekend I attended a fun Dallas Blogger Brunch hosted by Rhonda Jenkins and sponsored by Sitter Needed. I had the pleasure of meeting Rhonda at a previous coffee meetup and this girl knows how to get people together! If you are familiar with Rhonda and her Dallas Blogger Brunches you already know how fabulous her events are. I was super excited when I heard this brunch would include other mom bloggers and that we would have a special guest Jennifer Dickson talking about Sitter Needed.

CoffeeandSweats.com, DallasBloggerBrunch, SitterNeeded

Jennifer and Rhonda Picture Credit: Devon Tabor

I mean look at the tablescape I noticed as soon as I walked in.

Check out the gorgeous flowers from @OliveGroveDesign

I love a good table setting. Also, I love my name monogrammed on everything. It may have something to do with never finding my name on a key-chain as a kid so just monogram my name on anything and I will be thrilled.

Brunch was at Sixty Vines – I’ve been there before and I’m always impressed with their food. It’s not just delicious food but it’s the presentation too. Look at the hummus and pita bread presented in a rolling pin! Am I easily impressed? Maybe, but I was lowkey trying to find a way to hide that rolling pin in my bag.

red beet hummus & edamame hummus

Toasts – sea salt ciabatta with avocado & togarashi, brie & candied dates, raclette & tomato bacon jam

With Abbie of Plano Moms and Teia of Dallas Single Mom Photo Credit: Devon Tabor

During the brunch I got the opportunity to learn about Sitter Needed – an on-demand babysitting service staffed by nursing students. The nursing students are all CPR trained and background checked and have already committed to a profession of caring for others. It’s a concept that Jennifer came up with while she herself, was in nursing school. After becoming a mother Jennifer saw the demand that families have for reliable caregivers and finally brought her idea to life. I love the concept of having someone do all the hard work of finding someone trustworthy and interviewing them for me. I hope to use this service sometime soon (hello much needed date night) and will report back to you guys!

CoffeeandSweats DallasBloggerBrunch SitterNeeded

Jennifer talking about Sitter Needed Picture Credit: Devon Tabor

It was a fun event talking to other bloggers and mothers – It’s like two of my tribes collided into a table of yummy food and drinks! Can’t wait for the next one.

by: Nusrat

Thankful For Mom Friends

I hate awkward pauses. Especially ones where a table full of people are looking at me waiting for an answer and I got nothing.

So awkward.

Still nothing.

Thanksgiving break brings old friends around. Everyone is home for the holiday so it’s a great time to meet and catch up. Sitting at a bar we used to frequent often, I was having a great time with some of my old college friends and people I hung out with before I got married. I admit that after moving out of state right after the wedding, I hadn’t done a good job of keeping in touch with friends. So this was a fun night for me, several of these faces I hadn’t seen in years.

Some of my friends had new jobs or had recently become homeowners. Some of us were single, recently engaged or newlyweds. But only one of us had kids, though.

That would be me.

Maybe I should have prepared a little so I wouldn’t be so caught off guard. I was just excited to have a few hours to myself carrying a cute little purse instead of a diaper bag.

So it was inevitable that at some point, someone would turn to me and ask,

“So what’s new with you?”

The truth was there was nothing new with me. One of the worst things about seeing old friends is having absolutely nothing new to tell them.

I wanted to say that I’m a stay at home mom. I wear the same pair of jeans every timeI leave the house. I wear my hair in a big messy bun because I do not have the time or energy to blow dry it.

Work? No, I’m not working right now. Well, I’m technically working all the damn time but I don’t think they would understand what I meant by that.

Travel? It’s hard enough to go down the street to the grocery store with two young kids, you think I’m about to do some international flight with them? Do you have any idea how much STUFF these kids need? No Caribbean vacations coming up for me anytime soon.

“Oh, you know..nothing new.”

That was my lame answer. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. The fact that my toddler tells me he needs his diaper changed the moment he poops instead of sitting on it and smooshing it in, is the best thing that’s happened to me lately. He is so ready for potty training! That’s exciting, right?

And suddenly I longed for my Mom friends. I had joined a Mom’s group when I moved. I had no friends and I found a group of women who had babies born the same year my son was. Mom friends sympathize with every detail of your labor and the c-section you didn’t really want. They get how tired you are. They don’t judge your unwashed, frizzy hair. Mom friends can talk at length about leaky boobs and sleep regression.

Thankful for Mom Friends

I opted to drive home instead of moving on to the next bar and I thought about how much I had changed since the last time I was here. I had essentially traded in my cocktails for coffee and my designer jeans for sweatpants. I was the same person but so much more blessed than I ever was before.

I was thankful for the child-free friends who still make an effort to keep in touch with me. And now, I was thankful for the awesome women who also have no clue what they’re doing, as they go through this motherhood journey with me. It’s difficult not to compare myself to my old friends, though. I’ve traded in promotions for potty training and put my career on pause. It was the career pause that I had the most difficulty with. So much of our self-identity is measured by job titles, promotions, and raises. There was a tangible result of all the hard work you put in.

I get home past the kid’s bedtime and look at them snuggled in bed. I was so thankful for the two babies that changed me more than I could have ever imagined. And without any hesitation I realized.

Some pauses are not awkward at all.

by: Nusrat

Let’s Talk about Sex Baby

Hey Board of Education! Let’s talk high school Sex Education classes. No need to show videos of the human reproductive system or use scare tactics about sexually transmitted diseases. Just have a camera crew follow me around for a day. I assure you, teenagers will be so turned off, no one will have sex ever.

Let’s take today for instance. A camera crew would have captured me being jolted awake to the howling screams of a preschooler at 6 a.m. Why? Oh, because he woke up and that’s what he does EVERY SINGLE MORNING. I can’t blame him for not being a morning person, though – I think he got that gene from me.

The camera would then zoom in on the clingy toddler with a 103°F fever. The students would be able to see how gracefully I held down his limbs and held his head in place with one hand while injecting a syringe full of Ibuprofen into his mouth with the other. They could have seen him spit it out all over his face, his clothes, and the pillow while screaming his lungs out. The whole process would be repeated again an hour later with antibiotics.

Then, of course, follows the leaky diarrhea diaper (thanks, antibiotics!). Diarrhea all over the bed sheets, his clothes, and my clothes.

Cut to me changing the leaky diarrhea diaper and toddler grabbing his penis the moment it springs free, smearing diarrhea all over his hands. The camera would zoom in on chubby toddler legs kicking my boobs as I try to fold up diaper with one hand while simultaneously trying to grab his diarrhea hands before he touches his face.

At this point, I will look straight into the camera and chant my mantra “FML. FML. FML”

Chanting is interrupted by preschooler asking his 427th question about garbage trucks and how they work. But How? But Why? Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Cut to the time. Is it already 10 a.m? Insert a scene of sick, cranky, toddler having a meltdown because he needs a nap and me looking into an empty linen closet because the laundry has not been done and there are no sheets to put on the bed.

The students would then witness me attempting to negotiate with the Preschooler when he yells out “I’m hungry! Can we get McDonald’s?” Is it noon already? Show scene of preschooler refusing to eat anything I give him because it is NOT McDonald’s.

Pissed off preschooler now pulls out his PlayDoh! Cut to little PlayDoh crumbs all over kitchen table and floor. Show toddler making a run for the pieces of PlayDoh and throwing a tantrum on the floor because I swept up the pieces before he could shove them into his mouth.

Cut back to the time. 2 p.m and me still in my pajamas frantically texting Rambo asking him when he’s coming home.

The camera would do a slow fade out showing the chaotic mess that is my home. The glazed over look on my face as one crying kid pulls on my leg and the other crying kid reaches out for my boobs. Big block letters would scroll across the screen reading

THIS IS YOUR LIFE AFTER SEX.

Teen pregnancy rates would plummet. Pretty effective if I do say so myself.

by: Nusrat

Pregnancy – Second Time Around

I’m expecting baby #2. Yes, I’m happy and excited about the pregnancy but mostly I’m tired. More tired than I ever thought possible.

Pregnancy the second time around is both easier and harder. Easier because I couldn’t care less about reading every single book on pregnancy and happy babies. I’m no longer super anal about not consuming cheeses, seafood or coffee. I don’t care how many raised eyebrows or concerned looks I get. I ordered a coffee the other day at brunch with my visibly pregnant belly and the waitress smiled at me and said,

“I drank coffee during my second pregnancy too” and it made my day. I needed that validation. My doctor told me I could consume a cup of coffee a day but still, I needed a mom who had been there before me to say it was OK. Trust me, the world is a better place when I drink coffee.

Pregnancy is harder now because I used to nap all the time the first time around. Now there is no napping. There is no rest when a restless two-year-old boy needs you. I have to take him to the park to burn off that little boy energy so he’ll sleep at night. I have to prepare meals for him, even if he barely eats two bites. I have to stop what I’m doing and play with him when he says:

“Ammu come on, lets’ play cars!”

To be honest I’ve barely had a chance to think about this baby. I have no idea what size fruit he is this week. I’m not freaking out about having all the equipment, supplies and gadgets to make my baby comfortable. I bought the entire store the first time around and I definitely didn’t need it all. There is literally no baby prep going on. I haven’t even pulled out the old baby clothes – I simply don’t have the time. I’m running after the two-year-old all the time.

I can’t keep up with one, Lord knows what I will do with two.

I’m getting tired just thinking about how crazy my life is about to get.

Pregnancy 2nd time around

by: Nusrat

Coffee and Life Changes

Life has changed a lot in the past three years. When I started blogging I was a college student. Then I got married and I stopped blogging altogether. Life got messy. I didn’t want to share my thoughts anymore. Now I have three years worth of life, repressed inside which I’m hoping will make for some worthy blog posts. There’s only one way to find out.

I guess a quick recap is in order.

Since my Xanga days I…

Got married.
Moved to New Jersey
Popped out a baby
Left my job to stay home with the baby.

All of the above points are devastatingly life changing. No wonder I didn’t feel like writing.

Getting married – no one ever thinks about what is going to happen after the fairy tale wedding. There is no ‘happily ever after’. Instead, it’s ‘what’s for dinner?’ and ‘who’s going to clean the bathroom?’

Moving to New Jersey. People are crazy here. You think Texans are all redneck republicans eating roadkill? Not at all. People on the east coast are insane in their own way and I’m slowly morphing into one of them.

Popping out a baby. Do I really need to explain this one? I burst into tears the first time I got shot in the face with a stream of pee. Now I think it’s hilarious.

And the last big life change, I’m a stay at home mom now.
Which explains why I live in sweatpants.
And why my best friend is a two-year-old.
The other day in order to get me out of bed he stood at the door and said
“Ammu, come on! ….Coffee?”
My best friend knows that coffee is the only thing that will get me out of bed. It’s the only thing that’s been constant.
No, he didn’t make me a cup. He’s only two. But I’m working on it.

I don’t deal very well with change. So expect a lot of bitching and a lot of what-happened-to-my-life type moments. I also crack myself up when I think about all the things that go down around here but I have no friends to tell them to. So hopefully you’ll check back to laugh with me. Or feel sorry for me.

I’ll be doing both.